Movie Review - You Don't Mess With the Zohan
Victoria Alexander
FilmsInReview.com

Finally, a funny Sandler movie. It's his franchise. He's sexy too! But why all the Mel Gibson slams?

It's rather unlikely to say Adam Sandler has found his cinematic niche but Zohan is sexy, has raunchy sex with elderly women (and enjoys it!), is a Kung Fu magical Israeli commando, and has six-pack abs and firm buttocks. What's not to like?

Keeping with the extreme vulgarity that is now so popular, though we never see Zohan's penis (they are saving that for the unrated DVD), it starts off with Zohan pulling two things out of his anus. I saw something similar in Bangkok, but I save that story for cocktail parties.

That's the nod to the homosexual dread factor of the teenage boys in the audience.

Zohan (Sandler) is Israel's weapon of mass destruction but he wants to be a hairdresser. Fed up with killing, Zohan stages his own death in a slap-off with his uber-nemesis, an Arab called Phantom (John Turturro).

Zohan gives himself a 1982 make-over courtesy of the Paul Mitchell style book he secretly prizes as a talisman. He sneaks in to New York City and boldly goes to Paul Mitchell's salon. Striking out, he finds himself in the Jewish-Arab ghetto of the city where his Jewish buddies have re-located selling questionable electronic equipment alongside Arabs who drive all the taxis in New York.

Zohan defends wimpy Michael (Nick Swardson) caught up in a knife fight and goes to stay with Michael and his mother Gail (Lanie Kazan). He likes Gail a lot. He doesn't notice she is obese. He thinks she's hot. He finds a salon run by Arab Dalia (Emmanuelle Chirqui) who lets him clean up but not cut hair.

Dalia has her own problems. A real estate millionaire thug wants to buy up the neighborhood, level it and erect a mall.

When Dalia must reluctantly give him a chance, Zohan happily gives the elderly ladies a big sex perk that makes him a hair styling star. The ladies are lining up. But Zohan can't hide his past, especially when a Palestinian cabdriver, Salim (Rob Schneider), recognizes him and seeks revenge.

Phantom, having "killed" Zohan, is treated like a king and starts a chain of fast food joints. When he finds out he was duped, he turns up in New Yorkto settle accounts.

I absolutely loved that Zohan is madly attracted to old women there is not even a wink to us about this. Zohan is truly a lover of women. Sandler looks great too.

"Zohan" is not meant for the "Atonement" ticket buying public. Sandler and his co-writers, Robert Smigel and Judd Apatow, do something astonishing. They give Schneider a role he is finally decent in. It has taken 20 years, but Schneider's rabid devotion (what else could it be? Blackmail?) to Sandler has paid off. Is it fair that Schneider has a champion like Adam Sandler in love with him?

The aforementioned writers do not side-step the Jewish-Arab conflict but make a good point: the majority of Jews and Arabs have political opinions, but when push comes to shove, it's about living as best one can.

That said, why all the Mel Gibson jokes? Did he vote to keep Sandler out of Melibu?

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